She told me I'm like a Phoenix and went on to explain why. As she was speaking, chills ran through my spine and filled my soul. I've been seeing an astrologer for some time now and she never fails to shake me and help me get into alignment with what my soul needs to hear in order to further step into my purpose
Hearing the words "you have a dis-ease" (of whatever kind) is never an easy pill to swallow. Hearing that your body has failed you or that you're not able to live a life like a "normal" human being changes everything about what you thought you knew, how you live your day to day life and what you expect for your future. At least it did for me. Chronic pain, denial, anger, fear, depression, control are just a few of the versions of myself that I’ve had to live through. That is, until I decided I no longer wanted to be or feel any of those things. I wanted to be free and soar like a Phoenix.
The Phoenix obtains a new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor, so for me I decided to rise from the ashes of my diagnosis and step into a new version of myself. One that uses her physical pain as her spiritual fuel to fight and inspire and understand the lesson so that I am able to share it with the rest of the world. Don't get me wrong, I have my bad days where I'm in bed most of the day or I fall sick for days at a time but I allow myself the time I need to heal, rest and to feel what I need to feel. Then I get up and push on because I know my victory is found in the moments in between. I have good days, bad days and my favourite...the moments in between.
So just like the Phoenix I've shed the old versions of who I was and when I glance down over the ashes and soar into the skies I remember what it's like to be free before this life, before this disease.